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Writer’s Roundtable: Welcome To The Clock Out

We’re back. Who’s we? A collection of some of your favorite (and least favorite, depending on your sense of humor) writers from the now-extinct PGP. It’s been a little over a month, but boy, does it seem like longer. We’ve missed you, is what we’re trying to say, and if you’ve missed us, The Clock Out is the place for you.

What is The Clock Out, you ask? Well, to be honest, we’re not entirely sure. Is it a replacement for PGP? Perhaps. Is it a new, improved site, unhampered by ad dollars and constraints on what we can and can’t write about? We think so. Is it a place where readers can connect with a community of like-minded individuals, all different, yet all cosmically linked by a shared interest in this website? Shit, we hope so. The Clock Out is a lot of things, and it may mean something different to everyone who reads it or writes for it, but what I can tell you is this:

We’re going to be injecting sweet, sweet content into your veins. We got that good-good you’ve been craving, and we got it in bulk. We got shit that’ll make you laugh, make you cry, and make you think. Getting Back In The Game is back. Five People That Had A Worst Weekend Than You is back. We haven’t been sitting on our ass for the last month. We’ve been cranking out content. And now we have a place to share it. So buckle up.

So, in the immortal words of Hov, allow us to re-introduce ourselves.

Noam

A lot of you may know me as Nick Arcadia. But as of today, the pen name I wrote under for PGP is officially retired. I’m pivoting to my real name, which means I can pivot to my real self. Just kidding. Unfortunately, the persona I wrote under as Nick Arcadia is my actual personality, so if you were hoping I was less of a douchebag in real life, you are sadly mistaken. My dumb opinions are real. My ridiculous stories actually happened. And now you get even more of them.

A lot has happened in the last month. I moved in with my girlfriend. I found sobriety. I un-found sobriety. I traveled to Costa Rica and California and London. And most importantly, I’ve been writing about all of it, and now I have a place where I can publish those words. So to everyone who stuck around – thank you, and enjoy The Clock Out!

Madoff

Greetings and salutations. It’s been a strange trip these last few months. Maybe you read on the Reddit post, but we’re back. There’s a lot of room to be creative and like anything in this life, it’s a work in progress. 

If you enjoyed our writing before, please continue to continue to do so. There’s something for everyone as we are a talented and creative bunch. There’s limitless space for creativity. Thank you for being patient and I hope to be Clocking Out with you all quite a bit. 

Jenna Crowley

I’ve got to tell you guys, it’s been a rough six weeks without having an appropriate outlet on which to share my thoughts regarding moronic things people did over the weekend and other various topics that spring to mind. But I’m super excited to be here with some of my favorite internet friends to start bringing you content again. 

Not to humble-brag, but I used my considerable (read: non-existent) web design skills to build this little site of ours, so if anything goes wrong, blame me. Not that I’ll be able to do anything about it.

Kyle Bandujo

Hey all. You might know me from my work on PGP, my podcast (subscribe pls) or my obnoxious Twitter feed. Regardless, you’ll be seeing me pop in and out like a deadbeat dad here on The Clock Out. Maybe an article about parenting here, a post about taking a dump at work there. You know, just the usual stuff. 

Hope you all enjoy this and all the other content my colleagues are putting out. 

Delph

Let me tell y’all, I am so excited for this. We’ve thrown around this idea in our friend group for a while now and we are so pumped to finally roll things out. You should expect quite possibly anything. We all live very different lives and look to bring you a diverse portfolio of content.

I’m excited to have no filter and bring laughter to your work day. You will read about redneck shit, dad life, working from home, and various other random things. If you enjoy our work, please tell all of your friends! If you need more of my content, then get more on my podcast or follow me on Twitter.

Miss MacKay

Welcome back, kiddos!  I missed your sweet little faces. So what have I been up to since we last chatted? Well, I got a dog, finished my thesis, met the love of my life, won the lottery, and drank A LOT of wine. Ha, only two of those are true – I won $5 on a scratch-off and I’ll let you guess the other.  All jokes aside, I’m glad to be back and I hope you’re glad that we’re back. My typing hands have been aching lately: my students have said some funny stuff, I’m up to my ears in dumb pop culture, I’ve watched way too many old Rom-Coms, and I’ve seen so many great dogs lately.  In other words, I’ve got some things to say. 

And… if you’re new here, welcome! Please find yourself an open seat, settle in, and turn to page 1.  We’re all set, and now that you’re here, let’s begin.  XOXO

Cush

Hello again. Some of you may be surprised to see my name here in this roundtable. It is true; I’m not very famous. I don’t have much of a following on any social platform. I think I am way funnier than what my tweeting metrics have shown. And I just got Instagram like 2 months ago. I barely even know how to internet for fuck’s sake. So many content creators out there curate a persona and a personal brand that help them carve out their own little spot on the interwebs to thrive in. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’ve come to the realization that I may not have that. What I do have is a handful of great friends who were really bummed to see one of their main creative outlets get shutdown a little while ago, and who were motivated enough to not let that be the end of our writing. So here we are.

From me personally, you can expect a variety of different types of original content whether that be listicles, “news” pieces, power rankings, personal anecdotes, stream of consciousness jargon, or maybe even a little poetry. Whatever it is, it will be from me, the 28-year-old aspiring engineer from Maine who would rather quote Trailer Park Boys than talk about politics, would take a bullet for Tom Brady, and whose only funny tweets are about his wife of almost 5yrs. There’s no common theme or shtick here, just a bunch of people who love to write and engage with all of you. So take a break, sit back, and enjoy The Clock Out.

Heavy Metal Krist

In my farewell message to Post Grad Problems, I made a point to emphasize how much I treasured and enjoyed the community we were all a part of over there.  I became friends with my colleagues in writing, connected with readers through the comment section and social media, and was part of an environment where we could gather in our shared experiences to vent, crack jokes, and shoot the shit with one another.  Anybody could write on any website in any corner of the internet, but it takes something truly special to be a part of something like that.  And with this newest venture, The Clock Out, we hope to continue cultivating that community and familiar sense of belonging through our content and engagement.  Whether it’s an article about the banal trivialities of office life or a ridiculous news item that we just had to snark on, we hope to provide you with the best possible content for killing time and commiserating with your fellow cubicle warriors. So pop in, clock out, and let’s have some fun.

Gay Cinderella

Sup, fans. This is the artist formerly known on PGP as Rory Gilmore. I’ll be writing here and there for this beyond fabulous website, so try to pay attention for a sentence or two so I can tell you who I am. I’m part fluffy pink tulle skirt, part girl talking shit about you a couple barstools down because you’re wearing low-rise jeans. I enjoy bragging about the fact that I accomplished the dream by marrying a doctor this summer (okay fine, she’s a veterinarian, but a dogtor is still a doctorate degree, jerks.) I’m here to talk about the hot gossip, the 411, and the topics on everyone’s mind, like oral sex techniques and what variety of wine is best for drinking while you complain on the phone to your mom. If anyone has questions about vaginas, hangovers, or actual dog problems you want me to bug my wife about, holla at yo girl. You girls keep me young. Ugh, I love you so much.

So that’s who we are. What’s going to happen – who the hell knows? But we hope that you like it, whatever it is. And if you have any ideas for us – hit us up at theclockoutwebsite@gmail.com.

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Codes
Guest
Codes

Testing one two, testing one two. Maybe this time my comment will work

Codes
Guest
Codes

Ok ignore that one, forgot to remove my real name

Delph
Guest
Delph

Fixed it for ya 🙂

ddbiz
Guest

good to have ya’ll back.

realDonaldTrump
Guest
realDonaldTrump

I’m happy you guys stepped up.

Your work friend
Guest
Your work friend

Excited to have you folks back!

postpostgraduatedolphin
Guest
postpostgraduatedolphin

Happy Days are here again!! The Mid Atlantic Sea shelf Dolphin Community is glad y’all are continuing to write and can’t wait to see what you come up with.

FutureTerribleHousewife
Guest
FutureTerribleHousewife

Today is a good day.

guntherfelt
Guest
guntherfelt

Back up in that ass with the resurrection

youshouldletthisgo
Guest
youshouldletthisgo

It’s honestly kind of sad that you guys weren’t able to, or didn’t want to create something new without bringing up and taking jabs at PGP—a website that let you write literally whatever and whenever you wanted and paid you for it presumably with ad money. I get being upset with things ending, but when none of you worked for the company it’s kind of weird to make side eyes and comments about what you would’ve done differently when you weren’t a part of it but still benefited creatively and financially from them. I hope you guys are able to… Read more »

madoff
Guest
madoff

Out of curiosity, I am wondering where exactly we took jabs at PGP? All of us enjoyed our time writing for PGP, which is why this is in existence. There’s been no negative words said about PGP – only that some of us, along with the following it had, were disappointed to see written content get shutdown. If it were about money, this site would not exist. We’ve spent personal funds to create this without any expectation of a monetary return on the investment. All of us have real jobs outside of writing but we enjoyed the community so much,… Read more »

fireflygirl77
Guest
fireflygirl77

When you (the collective you) say, “…unhampered by ad dollars and constraints on what we can and can’t write about…” the implication is that ad dollars and editorial constraints are a negative. That isn’t a direct shot at PGP, and I’m a huge turd. And, yes, I do need a multi-paragraph response, thank you. Wow, this is some new and improved version of PGP. Just write something funny.

LinkedIn_TunedOut
Guest

Glad to see all of ya making a comeback