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The Clock Out Pet Of The Week: Hank

Animals make the world better. Whether they are live companions or delicious chicken wings, I love 95% of the earth’s creatures. Having said that, I can’t wait for lab grown meat. But that’s an opinion for a different time.

I’d much rather see pictures of people’s pets than their alien-looking babies. That’s not to say they will always look like aliens, but the similarities between aliens and children are many. For one, the little fella just spent nine long months giving mommy morning sickness and kicking around while stealing her nutrients.

If you don’t love pets, first and foremost, you’re most likely a serial killer. I plan to release a “Pet of the Week” each Friday as a nice way to kick off the weekend and highlight the things that matter.

Do you have a pet worthy of this honor? If so, please send me a few pictures of your favorite pet. A short write up, relation to said pet, funny stuff they do, how they impact your life, really anything. They can be your roommates’ pet, your childhood pet or yours. I don’t care if it has fur, feathers, scales or whatever.

Since this is my article, I’ll start off. Here’s a picture of my buddy Hank the day we found him. Hank came to us via some trailer trash dumping him off on the side of the road. He was found with a little chihuahua named Randy Jackson that we quickly adopted to Mrs. Madoff’s neighbor. The neighbor rejected its given name and renamed him Fred. Lame. I can report he looks like one of those root beer candies. He is also very much like 99% of chihuahua’s and is exactly 50% tremble, 50% evil planning to snap.

When we found him, Hank was about 10-15 lbs. underweight. He was covered in fleas and ticks. He had a ragged collar that was not fitting for a dog of his esteem. As we got to know each other, it’s been a privilege to be his friend. He’s touched many lives. On a trip to the OBX a few summers ago, he accompanied us to an ice cream stand. A boy with special needs came up to him and wrapped himself around Hank. The boy’s mother explained he missed his dog and was very thankful we shared ours, as Hank’s presence immediately calmed and soothed him. I ducked away to avoid crying in public and Hank was soon mobbed by all the other ice cream seeking youths.

Hank is getting older. Like many of my prior dogs, he comes from the Island of Misfit pets. He didn’t arrive too soon or too late but exactly when he intended. The guy is pretty much Bagger Vance in dog form. Sadly, we won’t get to hang out forever, but he has irreversibly changed me for the better. You can find him trekking the woods, chilling at the bar or visiting work/nursing homes decked out in the dapper bowties from aunt Jenna Crowley.

If you have a pet you’d like to highlight, whether it’s a dog, cat, bird, lizard, snake or what have you, please send me an email at madoffinvestment@gmail.com titled, “Pet of the Week” along with some information mentioned above and of course, a few pictures for the article and Twitter. I cannot promise when it will be published but I will do my very best to bring a new face and story on a weekly basis.

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Fishing for a Raise
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Fishing for a Raise

That’s one cool looking dog, and a great series idea. Some of the best dogs are found on the side of the road like mine. Ill be sure to type my submission up soon.