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Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Doping Suspensions and The Worm

My weekend wasn’t too bad. Bookend weekend snow storms meant that I had full permission to sit on my butt doing a whole hell of a lot of nothing. A few bad Hallmark movies, a whole lot of Law and Order (I’ve been into the regular ones lately), many hours of sleep, and far too much time in the same pair of pajamas all make for a decent two days. Or at the very list, better than these people’s.

Johnny Walker

Not the whisky, the UFC star.  

Walker scored a win in 36 seconds by knocking out Misha Cirkunov on Saturday night in Vegas. According to the New York Post, “The 26-year-old leapt into the air to connect a flush knee on Cirkunov’s chin before he finished off the Canadian with some heavy hits after less than 40 seconds.” Great for him, right? Until he dislocated his shoulder while doing the worm during his post-fight celebration.

Yes, that’s right. The worm. Check it out here:

Walker told Joe Rogan after the fight, “If I survive myself I can survive anyone.” True story.

[Via New York Post]

Randy Gregory

Dallas Cowboy Gregory didn’t have a great week last week and it didn’t get any better heading into the weekend.

First, the defensive end was indefinitely suspended last week by the NFL after numerous failed drug tests. It wasn’t the player’s first brush with the league – he’s been suspended multi-times before, including for the 2017 playoffs and the entire following season.

Then the week got worse when Gregory received an eviction notice on 3-bedroom home in Frisco, Texas. Gregory rented the home in August 2018, but stopped paying the rent in December 2018 – and he owes over $13,000. His landlord sent a letter on February 5th to Gregory and his attorney demanding the player pay up or vacate the premises.  

No word on what Gregory did with the $3.8 million he received after being drafted by the Cowboys with the 60th pick in the 2nd round of the 2015 NFL Draft. Actually, I think we all probably know where that money went.

[Via TMZ]

Geir Helgemo

You don’t know Geir? How do you not know the number one bridge player in the world, you heathen?

Actually, you don’t really need to know Geir, since he just received a 1-year suspension from competition. For doping. Athletes seem to be on a roll this week.

Yes, that’s right. Apparently, since the World Bridge Federation is recognized by the International Olympic Committee, it must follow World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) policies, which include drug testing for banned substances. Helgemo, a Norwegian who represents Monaco in card events,  was issued a suspension after testing positive for synthetic testosterone and a female fertility drug at a competition last year.

Kari-Anne Opsal, the president of the Norwegian Bridge Federation, said in a statement on the federation’s website:

Geir Helgemo…has previously played for the Norwegian national team and is our biggest star. Many within the bridge community know Geir and respect him.

It is his responsibility not to take substances that are on the doping list, even though in this instance they are not performance-enhancing in bridge.

I feel for Geir in this situation and hope he will come back stronger after November 20, 2019, when his ban ends.

Anyone else want to know why Geir was taking “a female fertility drug”?

[Via SkyNews]

Sunday Sleepers

I rarely sleep in on the weekends. My body just wakes up at 7am, rearing to go. But today I managed to sleep until 11am, which was great…except for the negative effect on my health.

According to a new study, sleeping in on the weekend could lead to weight gain and cause overall damage to your health. The study found that those who “caught up” on sleep over the weekend gained more weight than those that slept the same amount every night, with men gaining slightly more than women.

Dr. Vsevolod Polotsky, director of sleep research at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, says, “Weekend catch-up sleep is not protective. The bottom line of this study is that even if you sleep longer on weekends, if you continue to sleep poorly, you will still eat too much, and you will still gain weight.”

Kenneth Wright Jr., who directs the sleep lab at the University of Colorado in Boulder, added, “The common behavior of sleeping in on the weekends doesn’t correct the body’s inability to regulate blood sugar if that weekend is followed by a workweek or school week full of insufficient sleep. And when we go back to getting too little sleep again. We’re doing things that could be negative for our health long-term.”

I’m pretty that last sentence applies to a hell of a lot more than our sleeping habits, doc.

[Via CNN]

This Possum

I can’t watch.

[Via Mashable]

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Fireflygirl77
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Fireflygirl77

The phrase is ‘raring to go,’ not ‘rearing to go.’ Unless you go through life ass first.