8 Ways to Celebrate St. Paddy’s Without Getting Drunk

What’s up everyone? Who is excited for arguably the best back to back weekend’s this calendar year? We’ve got St. Paddy’s lined up on a SUNDAY this year, and March Madness kicking off next week. Hooooo boy are we in for it. Now, I can’t get too rowdy this year on account of trying to pass a huge licensure exam in 3 weeks, but that won’t completely stop me from celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. I am approximately 13% Irish after all. Since I need to be relatively coherent the entire weekend, I’ll be celebrating with minimal booze intake. For those of you out there like me, here are 8 ways to celebrate without getting drunk.

1.) Wear green.

This is it. This is the bare minimum you must do to on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s also the easiest way to let everyone know that you acknowledge what day it is, and that although not a legal holiday in the U.S., it is in fact a real holiday and one of the biggest celebrated world-wide. Redheads get a pass because everyone assumes, you’re full blooded Irish to begin with.

2.) Go to the parade.

Literally everywhere with a population greater than 20,000 will have some sort of parade because there is bound to be at least a couple dozen crazy Irish folk in that town willing to jaunt up and down the street playing bagpipes. Check your local listings (bar) for more information.

3.) Eat Corned Beef. Or Potatoes. Or both at the same time!

That’s it. That’s the alpha and omega of Irish food. Sorry to disappoint but the Irish are not known for their food. If you don’t like either of those then tough luck.

4.) Go to Church/Mass.

St. Patrick’s Day is a celebration in honor of St. Patrick, the man who spearheaded Christianity in the country of Ireland. Church isn’t just for Easter and Christmas Eve after all, you heathens.

5.) Get a Tattoo.

Irish people love to get tattoos about their heritage. If you don’t have a four-leaf clover with a cross in the middle of it wrapped in the snakes that St. Patrick allegedly drove out of Ireland himself, are you even Irish? Actually, that sounds pretty tight and I’ve recently gotten the itch (again) to get inked. Does anyone know a good artist?

6.) Do a Case Race – with O’Doul’s!

One of the best St. Paddy’s days to date was in 2012. I want to say it was like 55 degrees and sunny out, which is scorching hot for Orono, Maine that time of year. We started the day with a case race and ended the day how, I couldn’t tell you. But in between those two points, it was an absolutely epic day of lawn games, green beer, car bombs, loud music, and good times. I’d like to relive that day, so if anyone wants to join me for a case race using O’Doul’s, I’ll be starting at 9am Sunday morning.

7.) Drink Shamrock shakes until you puke.

If the volume of O’Doul’s doesn’t get you, the Shamrock shake will. What screams Irish more than 800+ calories of green dairy product? I’ll tell you. 800+ calories of green dairy product coming back up. Cheers.

8.) Cry alone in your house because everyone else is out having fun without you.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!


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