Last week was a very weird week for me. Each day left me in a funk, scratching my head, and just saying, “Huh, that really did just happen.” By Thursday I was exhausted, and I was dreading going to work on Friday – as I’m sure that everyone does. So as I lay awake Thursday night, tossing and turning over what the hell Friday was going to bring, I took a little reflection time. While I’m so not sure that I buy into the astrological side of the world, I do believe that what you put out into the universe comes back on to you. Could the past few days be some type of karma, coming back to me? Right there, I knew what I needed to do: I made a decision that I was going to put out exactly what I wanted in the world: I was going to be nothing but positive on Friday.
I am generally am a glass half-full kind of person; however, at times, I can be a bit negative. I fully admit that I can be cynical, and I assume the worst, but I usually save the worst criticism for myself. I have anxiety and I worry too much about the “what if” moments in life. I usually find myself lost in the past, rethinking things and resolving them in my head instead of enjoying and living in the now, appreciating the moment as it happens. When it comes to certain things, I can be emotional and raw, and I have to remind myself to take a deep breath sometimes before I get too worked up. I can’t lie, it was somewhat challenging to look on the brighter side of things all day last Friday. I was tired, I was grouchy, and I just wanted the week to end. Then, at the end of the day, a previous student came to visit me and shared something with me that made me start to well up with tears of joy. It was just what I needed to hear after a week of taking losses. Huh. Imagine that… after being positive all day, and putting nothing but good, and sincere and happy thoughts, something good did happen. Coincidence? Maybe. But maybe I’m on to something here, too.
So this week I’m doing a bit of a personal experiment. I’m going to take another big step back and look at the bright side. Blame it on the nicer weather, but I’m thinking that a full week of optimism, of choosing to see the good rather than the shit, might be something that could potentially life-changing. I am going to take myself out of negative conversations and situations (whenever possible) at work and in my personal life. So, no, I’m not going to get road rage when idiots cut me off without a signal. I won’t complain about my neighbors or my apartment and the lack of anything functioning properly. Most of all, I have been kind of hard on myself lately, so I need to take a little shuffle-step-kickball-change-step-step backward and not be so harsh to myself. I do know that I’m going to have to avoid some people, mostly at work, like the plague. I’m actually looking forward to this. When I take to social media – cough, cough, Twitter – I’ll take in whatever is out there, but only good vibes are going back out into the world.
That’s right, good vibrations only. As The Funky Bunch once put it, “It’s going to be a sweet sensation.” And, yeah, admittedly so, today was pretty great… even for a Monday! But a week of this? I don’t know if I can do it! Only one way to find out. Phew. Deep breath, in and out. Here goes nothing – well, something – I guess.