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Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Breakups, Prison Meals, and Deportation

It’s the day after Easter, and I am in a sugar coma since my self-imposed chocolate ban has been lifted. A bag of Mini-Eggs and five Reese’s eggs later, I feel like crap, but I’m not sorry. #Noregrets…although these people may have some.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Lovers

I can finally eat chocolate again, and I do love Chips Ahoy. But thankfully, I only like the regular kind, because the chewy ones have been recalled.

The cookie maker’s parent company, Mondelēz Global LLC, announced last week that it was recalling 13-ounce packages of Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies due to an “unexpected solidified ingredient.”

Um what? Company representative Elisabeth Wenner wrote in an email, “In some instances, the cornstarch in our Chewy Chips Ahoy! recipe did not fully incorporate in the mixing procedure and solidified in the baking process.” She added, “The vast majority of consumers have not reported adverse events with respect to the product in the four code dates recalled. However, a small number of consumers have reported gagging, choking or dental injury, but none of these reports have been confirmed at this time. We issued this voluntary recall as a precaution, as the safety of our consumers is our top priority.”

According to CNN, no other types of Chips Ahoy have been affected, but I still think I may put off buying any for a bit. [Via CNN]

Joe Guidice

Everyone knows that the husband of Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Guidice spent the last few years in jail on fraud charges, but even though he’s since been released from prison, he’s not free and he’s likely on his way out of the U.S.

The reality star has been in federal custody since his release from jail last month, and recently had his deportation appeal denied, meaning that he will likely be returning to Italy – without his family. Joe and Teresa have married since 1999 and have four daughters: Gia, 18, Gabriella, 15, Milania, 13, and Audriana, 10. There are worse places to “have” to move to then Italy; however, Teresa, said on the most recent “RHONJ” reunion that she would divorce Joe if he was indeed deported.

Guess that whole “for better, for worse” part of their wedding vows didn’t included deportation. [Via Page Six]

Jailed Celebs

Ever wondered if prisoners got special meals on holidays? Apparently not.

TMZ looked into what several jailed celebs got for Easter dinner and a sweet honey-glazed ham was not on the menu for any of them:

  • Soulja Boy (Being held at Los Angeles County Jail until April 30th for a probation violation): Spaghetti, salad, bread and juice
  • Bill Cosby (at Pennsylvania’s SCI Phoenix): Baked chicken, bread dressing, carrots, gravy, bread and margarine, fresh apple
  • Suge Knight (at San Diego’s Richard J Donovan Correctional Facility): Hamburger, baked potato wedges, steamed corn, coleslaw, ice cream
  • Former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle (at Colorado’s FCI Englewood): Beef or soy tacos, Mexican or steamed rice, black beans, corn, shredded cheese and salsa

All gross. But then again, it’s sort of hard to feel bad for any of these guys, so whatever. [Via TMZ]

Attendees At This Bachelorette Party

I’ve heard of a Bridezilla, and even horrible bridesmaids, but a crazy bachelorette party guest? That’s a new one.

Twitter user @clapifyoulikeme found this gem on Reddit and shared it with the world:

Side note of this whole thing: six days in Vegas? That’s two days too many – and probably six days too many with this chick (who is now threatening legal action against the girl who posted her email on Reddit.) [Via Perez Hilton]

Couples

Adele and her husband, Simon Konecki.

Pitch Perfect’s Skylar Astin and Anna Camp.

Oscar nominated actress Michelle Williams and her husband, Phil Elverum.

Talk show host Wendy Williams and her husband, Kevin Hunter.

What do these four couples have in common? They all broke up heading into the weekend. What hope is there for the rest of us if the ridiculously rich and famous can’t make it work?

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lawcuck
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lawcuck

Damn those prisoners ate better than me. Had too much ceremonial wine and was hungover.