We joke, but some of these ridiculous holidays are meant to bring awareness to some pretty serious issues. This week those issues include Freedom of the Press, Prayer, and Infertility. But then again, we also have Cinco de Mayo and National Bubble Tea Day. Balance is key.
Monday, April 29th
I mean, who doesn’t like a good shrub?
National Shrimp Scampi Day
Due to the anaphylaxis, no can do, but I hear it’s good.
National Peace Rose Day
I googled, and a peace rose is that yellow one with pink trim. I love those.
National Zipper Day
There are easier then buttons, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Tuesday, April 30th
National Bubble Tea Day
Never had it.
National Sarcoidosis Day
Also never had it, but in a far less sarcastic way.
National Military Brats Day
Why do we call them brats?
National PrepareAthon! Day
“FEMA’s Prepareathon motivates people and communities to take action to prepare for and protect themselves against disasters.” Sounds like a good idea.
National Honesty Day
I honestly think this should be every day.
National Adopt a Shelter Pet Day
My devil shelter pets woke me up at 4am today, but I still advocate for this.
National Bugs Bunny Day
He’s so versatile.
National Hairstylist Appreciation Day
There are very few people in my life that I appreciate more than the woman who keeps my hair under control.
National Oatmeal Cookie Day
I love a good oatmeal cookie.
National Raisin Day
Particularly ones with raisins.
Wednesday, May 1st
Yeah, I hate me too.
National Skilled Trades Day
I literally have no talent at any of these things and I grateful for the people that do.
National Loyalty Day
Yeah, I really hate disloyalty.
National Mother Goose Day
Fun fact: Mother Goose is not a real person.
National Chocolate Parfait Day
Save The Rhino Day
Learn more here.
Like…what law? There’s a lot of ‘em.
School Principals’ Day
Silver Star Service Banner Day
“Silver Star Service Banner Day is a recognition of those who have been wounded, sickened, or killed in combat in general.”
Thursday, May 2nd
National Truffle Day
Chocolate? Truffle oil? I don’t care, I love them all.
National Life Insurance Day
Good to have in case you choke on a truffle.
National Day of Prayer
In a time when many religions seem under attack, this is actually really important.
National Day of Reason
Also important, because reason seems to have gone out the window as well.
World Password Day
I love babies! Other people’s babies!
Brothers and Sisters Day
Didn’t we just have Siblings Day? How is this different?
Friday, May 3rd
National SAN Architect Day
I don’t know what this is but I assume it’s some tech thing that is actually very important to my life.
International Tuba Day
I’ve never met anyone that actually played the tuba…
World Press Freedom Day
National Lumpy Rug Day
National Garden Meditation Day
No joke – I’ve been thinking about trying meditation lately. Is it better if I do it in a garden?
National Specially-Able Pets Day
I love all the pets.
National Two Different Colored Shoes Day
The number of times I’ve done this by accident is unbelievably high.
National Paranormal Day
National Raspberry Pop Over Day
National Chocolate Custard Day
Now we’re talking.
National Textiles Day
I mean, we all need fabric.
National Montana Day
Does every damn state have a day?!
National Space Day
Space is cool.
School Lunch Hero Day
Not sure if this is the point, but did you know that more than 15 million U.S. children live in “food-insecure” households. That’s not ok.
Saturday, May 4th
National Star Wars Day
I am the fucking worst.
Kentucky Derby Day
I used to go to the track with my dad when I was kid. Looking back, this was probably not a kid appropriate activity.
National Weather Observers Day
Is this different than the weatherman?
National Renewal Day
Of subscriptions? Gym memberships? What?
National Orange Juice Day
I love OJ but there’s way too much sugar.
National Candied Orange Peel Day
Speaking of sugar…
Fun fact: I hate birds.
National Fitness Day
Yet another reminder that I should probably go to yoga.
National Scrapbook Day
Do people still scrapbook?
National Homebrew Day
This really seems like a lot of work.
Join Hands Day
Hard pass. I really hate people touching me.
National Bombshells’ Day
We talkin’ hot ladies or big secrets?
National Start Seeing Monarchs Day
Like Prince Harry or a pretty butterfly? I’d be fine with either.
Free Comic Book Day
How expensive are comic books anyway?
Sunday, May 5th
Cinco de Mayo
National Silence the Shame Day
You know, that shame you feel after drinking all the tequila.
National Totally Chipotle Day
Or you could get some actual Mexican food.
Seems like an odd food for Cinco de Mayo.
National Hoagie Day
National Astronaut Day
Sure, astronauts are cool.
National Cartoonists Day
So aren’t cartoonists!
National Infertility Survival Day
I’ve had some friends cope with this, and it’s a really difficult thing. So don’t be an ass and ask people when they are gonna have kids, ok?
National Lemonade Day
I used to make bank running a lemonade stand. Do kids still do that?