Columns

Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Chicken, Cell Phones, And Stupid Chicks

We are going on what feels like the millionth day of rain here in Massachusetts, and I honestly feel like I’m losing my mind. So while my weekend wasn’t as bad these people’s, it certainly wasn’t anything great. So let’s get to it.

Chicken Lovers

Like cooking chicken at home? You may want to double-check your freezer if you’ve bought any recently.

Tyson has issued a large-scale recall over concerns that some of its chicken strips might be contaminated with pieces of metal.

The recall, which affects more than 11.8 million pounds of frozen, ready-to-eat chicken strip products that were shipped nationwide, includes:

  • Tyson fully cooked crispy chicken strips in 25-ounce and 40-ounce bags
  • Tyson fully cooked Buffalo-style chicken strips in 25-ounce and 40-ounce bags
  • Tyson fully cooked honey BBQ flavored chicken strips in 25-ounce bags
  • Best Choice Buffalo-style chicken strips in 20-ounce bags
  • Great Value fully cooked chicken strips in 25-ounce bags
  • Food Lion crispy chicken strips in 25-ounce bags

The bags have establishment number “P-7221” on the back of the package and “use by” dates of October 1, 2019, through March 7, 2020.

There have been six instances of people finding the metal in their chicken, leading to “oral injuries.” Sounds pleasant. [Via CNN]

This Chick

There’s a moral to every story and this one is pretty simple: if you are going to slide into someone’s DMs, you want to make sure it are going in theirs, not their wife’s.

An “Instagram model” named Jordan tried to slide in Bryce Harper’s DMs, but accidentally popped into his pregnant wife Kayla’s instead. I’m not 100% sure how stupid one has to be to make that mistake, but Kayla, of course, decided the proper thing to do would be to put the woman on blast:

And then the internet responded by finding Jordan’s Instagram and leaving hi-larious comments on her pictures…which is a decent punishment for hitting on a married guy. [Via BroBible]

Offset

I can’t count the number of times that Cardi B’s better half has been featured in this column, but here he is again.

The rapper was in a Target store in Sandy Springs, Georgia, when a fan tried to take a cell phone video of the star shopping. The man, Junior Gibbons, tried to speak to Offset, asking “What up, Offset?” which lead to the rapper hitting the phone out of Gibbon’s hand and telling him to “get that f***in’ phone out of my face.”

Sounds pretty minor, but because the phone, which broke when it fell, is over the $800 threshold for a felony, leading police to issue a warrant for Offset’s arrest.

I mean, just add it to the list. [Via TMZ]

Jessica Anderson

There are all kinds of weird world records out there, but regardless of the oddity of the particular category, it must be cool to own a world record. And it must also suck to have one taken away from you.

Jessica Anderson finished last week’s London Marathon in 3.08:22 while wearing nursing scrubs, claiming the world record for “fastest marathon by a woman in a nurse’s uniform.” However, Anderson found out this week that book of Guinness World Records was denying her claim to the record because “her scrubs — her real uniform as a nurse at Royal London Hospital — did not meet their definition, which includes a blue or white dress, an apron and a traditional nurse’s cap,” according to the New York Post.

The refusal to give Anderson the record has sparked a backlash online and the criticism lead Guinness World Records to release a statement on Saturday they would review the ruling. Samantha Fay, GWR’s senior vice president, said, “Guinness World Records takes the matters of equality and inclusiveness very seriously. We are also committed to consistent reviews of all record categories to ensure they reflect the world we live in today.”

Get with it Guinness. [Via New York Post]

Maximum Security (The Horse)

We all know how this turned out.

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