Breaching Wedding Etiquette: Paid Admission Jack & Jill Shower

Ahem. Happy Friday to all of you except for the subjects of this article.

Listen. Weddings are a financial strain for just about everyone involved. The couple getting married, parents of the bride and groom, family and friends that have to travel for bachelor/bachelorette parties and the wedding itself. That just comes with the territory. As such, I never understood the idea behind a bridal shower. “Hey we know we are getting you a bunch of stuff in a few months for the wedding, but here is a bunch more just in case.” The whole concept is wild to me. Even moreso is the fact that Jack and Jill showers becoming more popular. “Hey I know we usually only solicit gifts from the brides side for these types of thing but we can double the loot by making all the men we know attend this thing too. Let’s get this bread.”

So forgive me when I almost spit out my coffee the other day when I came across someone who has the audacity to be charging an admission to attend their Jack and Jill shower. Please see Exhibit A below so you know I am not making this up.

Let’s break this breach of wedding ettiquette down, shall we?

1.) These people are charging their friends and family to go an event that is designed around the celebration of themselves.

What. There is no mention of this admission fee is in lieu of bringing a gift for the bride and groom. Now the logical thing to assume is that someone has rented out a space to hold this event. Isn’t that just a cost that you’d plan to eat given you are probably driving away with two trunk fulls of stuff you didn’t have a few hours before hand? Same thing with the food. Don’t you offer that as a thank you for occupying the entirey of a precious weekend afternoon? Yeah yeah yeah, there is a cash bar. How about you buy a couple of 30 racks and some boxed wine and have this thing in someone’s back yard so this cost isn’t even something to argue about?

2.) Peep the couple’s discount. “Yeah I’m sorry you gotta pay more cuz you’re single because that most likely means your gift will be cheaper.”

3.) Bring your own chair. Almost fell out my own chair reading this. This event center can’t even offer seating to their guests? What is my admission ticket getting me?!

4.) Tickets available at the door. Hey in case you didn’t get the memo, they are going to get your $15 no matter what. There is bound to be a few stragglers that show up late and a tad unprepared because who in their right mind would expect to have to pay to go to a Jack and Jill shower? I just imagine someone standing at the entrance with a handful of neon colored bracelets turning away all of the poors that forgot to bring cash because they didn’t know it was a paid event.

We’ve taken things too far here, folks. Let’s reign it in on the whole loot grab aspect of weddings. I will be the first to admit that my family and friends blessed my wife and I with TONS of gifts when we got married. For that, I am thankful. But when it gets down to it, all of the stuff is unnecessary. You’ve got an entire life to build up material possessions together. The wedding is about celebrating you as a couple and the love you have and commitment you are making to eachother. Why would you want to put undue financial strain on the people you love more than is necessary. And yes, I get that we are only talking $15 here. The sentiment remains. Count me out if you plan on inviting me to one of these things because it’s way out of line.


  1. If you have to charge admission to a shower then you are not financially stable enough to be getting married end of story.


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