Truth time: I’m going on 3 hours sleep here, so we are going to skip the pleasantries and get right to it, okay?
Monday, May 13th
National Crouton Day
I love carbs that I can put on salads!
National Frog Jumping Day
I have frogs in my yard, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen them jump?
National Fruit Cocktail Day
National Apple Pie Day
Ah, now, this is my kind of fruit.
National Women’s Checkup Day
In a 2018 study from GCI Health, HealthyWomen, and Redbook magazine, nearly half of women in the U.S. neglect their own health, as they don’t have the time they need to focus on it. GO GET YOUR CHECKUP.
Tuesday, May 14th
National Decency Day
National Dance Like a Chicken Day
Fun fact: I really enjoy the chicken dance.
National Underground America Day
I thought this was about the Underground Railroad, but it turns out it’s to celebrate “the 6,000 or so North Americans who make their homes not only on the Earth but in it.” Um…what?
National Buttermilk Biscuit Day
Might roll up to the drive thru at KFC on my way home to celebrate.
Wednesday, May 15th
Peace Officers Memorial Day
I’m in favor of peace.
National Chocolate Chip Day
National Nylon Stocking Day
Do people still wear these?
Thursday, May 16th
Honor Our LGBT Elders Day
Think about it – they came out when it wasn’t cool. Props to them.
National Do Something Good for Your Neighbor Day
Unless your neighbors suck.
National Love a Tree Day
I mean, I like trees. Love is a strong word.
National Piercing Day
I’m so boring. I only have my ears pierced.
National Sea Monkey Day
Oh my god, these were so fun to grow when you were a kid.
National Biographer’s Day
My biography would be soooooooooooooo boring. No one would buy that book.
National Coquilles Saint Jacques Day
I had to google, but apparently we are celebrating a French preparation of scallops.
Friday, May 17th
National Pack Rat Day
Is anyone a pack rat since Marie Kondo came along?
National Cherry Cobbler Day
I like cherry flavored things, but I don’t like cherries. Weird, right?
National Graduation Tassel Day
One of my graduation tassels doesn’t have that year charm on it and it legit bothers me.
National Walnut Day
Ever have walnut pie? Highly recommend.
National Idaho Day
POTATOES! MORE CARBS!
National Endangered Species Day
The UN is warning that one-eighth of the world’s animals and plants are at risk of extinction; President Oompa-Loompa wants to repeal the Endangered Species Act. Do with that information what you will.
National Pizza Party Day
Oh yeah. Who’s inviting me over for some deep dish?
National Bike to Work Day
I don’t get it. I never will.
Saturday, May 18th
National HIV Vaccine Awareness Day
National Visit Your Relatives Day
Unless your relatives suck.
National No Dirty Dishes Day
This should be every day. Dirty dishes are gross.
National Cheese Soufflé Day
I had a goat cheese souffle in Paris four years ago that I still think about, it was that good.
National Armed Forces Day
National Learn to Swim Day
A skill we should all have.
Sunday, May 19th
National May Ray Day
I don’t know and I don’t care.
National Devil’s Food Cake Day
This is such a good food week!
Take Your Parents To The Playground Day
Pretty sure my mom would injure herself at the playground.