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Small Victories: Gaming the System

Catching a dub during the work week isn’t always easy. You’re probably either bored out of your mind doing menial tasks, pretending to do menial tasks or mildly freaking out during the 20 to 30 minutes a day the poo hits the fan.

As you meander through your day to day, even the tamest wins can feel like a triumph of the human spirit. Did you find a new workaround that’s going to increase your productivity? Nice. Did your favorite sandwich joint get better Wi-Fi? Hell yeah. Did you get to watch your boss get chewed out in front of everyone? You beautiful winner, you.

For Twitter.dot.com user HALL! (@TheHallWay1), he recalled a workplace experience that saw him gaming the entire premise of line cameras. He didn’t just dunk on his employer, he dunked on society.

There’s a little bit to break down here. Working 8 to 4 is the best, first of all. You get up earlier which means you’re getting an hour’s worth of productivity out of the way and then heading home for a snooze earlier. It’s the best.

Second of all, always make friends with maintenance folks, custodians and IT personnel. Pretty much anyone whose job it is to fix your office’s goof-em-ups. They know all the places you can hide for a quick on the clock nap or, in HALL!’s case, an office beer.

Then, there’s the line camera. That sweet, sweet line camera. The entire point of line cameras is to show you when it’s time to miss the big rush. HALL! said “NO!” and decided it’s better to kill time surrounded by the smell of delicious menu items like the SmokeShack, a Single or Double Cheeseburger topped with all-natural applewood smoked bacon, chopped cherry pepper, and ShackSauce™., than sit in his coworkers stink all day.

While the rest of us strategically plan our outings to grab a bite to eat, folks like HALL! are seeking out the masses of humanity that kept him away from a garbage work environment. It’s anarchy out here gang and HALL! is the one crying havoc to unleash the hogs of war.

As for his last point, if I could get paid to eat nachos and watch The Wire I would never leave the office. Bunk con queso? Might light a candle and kick it in that kind of ambience. Kudos to all the cubicle warriors who overcome faulty technology through tenacity and cheese based meals. No skipping work for them. After all, a man must have a code.

If you did something cool at work you’d like to share, drop me a line @DJCrimeDawg on Twitter. My DMs are now open and willing for your sweet sweet victories.

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Ben Jammin (Shithead)
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Ben Jammin (Shithead)

Where are all these office jobs that consist of boring, menial tasks. My job is extremely interesting.