Hi, my name is Miss MacKay, and I am currently eating bonbons and lounging by the pool because I’m on summer vacation, baby. While it’s all fun and games to sit around and drink Mai Tais all day, there are certain aspects of my job that I miss during the summer, like a paycheck… but that’s a story for another day. No, I miss my students and the interactions that we have over, namely, the barrage of questions they ask, which lead to conversations and discussions about the important issues of today and tomorrow. Often the silly questions that I’m asked help me get to know my students and help them get to know me.
One day, I shared an example of such a question with some fellow Clock Out writers: “Do all animals have butts?” This led to some research and discussion and some great conversation. So I’ve decided to take a cue from my students this summer: I’m going to flip it and reverse it. I will become the student. I’m was a “newish” writer to a previously mentioned website’s remote team, and here at The Clock Out we’ve brought on some contributors and continue to grow. I want to be able to get to know all of my new bestest friends, and really there’s one foolproof way that I know how to do that. So, I’ve decided to ask Clock Out contributors some silly, pointless, weird, and flat out dumb questions and see what they have to say. Each week I will stop sunbathing by the pool in my leisure time and share with you what’s been shared with me… pending people actually answer their emails in the summer. Hold on to your animal butts, and let’s begin.
First to respond to my questions was none other than Jenna Crowley. (This is not surprising at all, don’t be surprised.) So please sit back and enjoy Silly Questions With Jenna Crowley.
Do you have any hidden talents?
My brain is literally completely full of useless information. Can’t remember who was in that movie? I will. Wondering which celebs used to be married to each other? Ask me. None of this information is helpful in any form of work setting.
Can you describe your job in a haiku:
No, I can’t. I work in human resources. We don’t do poems. Or fun.
How many hot dogs can you eat in one sitting?
Only one, and only if it is cooked on a grill, served in a buttery grilled bun, and topped with mustard.
Who killed JFK?
I thought it was Ted Cruz’s dad? No? Shit.
Are there any bad trends that you participated in that you would like to apologize for now?
OMG, so many. Can I just apologize for my entire pre-teens, teens, and early 20s? That should cover it.
Name 5 things that are moist:
I refuse to participate, I fucking hate that word so much.
Which 4 other writers from The Clock Out are you taking with you to be a street fight… like in West Side Story?
Delph and Icehouse, because they are just naturally giant humans. (Seriously, I’ve met Icehouse and I come up to his elbow)
Miss Mackay, because I need another female on my team.
DJ Crime Dawg, because he would add the West Side Story-like musical element.
Tell me about the last time you had an “Oh shit” moment:
This happens at least once a day… today’s was when I spent no less then 10 minutes looking for a slipper that was “lost” in my bed after I fell asleep with them on last night. Yes, my friends, I am almost done with my Ph.D.!
Do you put your toilet paper over or under?
What is the most random fact that you know?
As previously stated, I know lots of random facts. But here’s one: it’s impossible to lick your own elbow. (Go ahead and try, you know you are going to.)
Do you lick it, flick it, or stick it?
Count Chocula; Lucky The Leprechaun; Captain Crunch; Trix The Rabbit; Tony The Tiger; Snap, Crackle, Pop (Tag Team)… What cereal mascot wins in a cage match?
Trix the Rabbit. He’s got a lot of pent up range from those asshole kids never letting him have any of that gross damn cereal.
What is the worst advice you’ve ever gotten?
“Money doesn’t buy happiness.” Fuck yes, it does.
What would you name your boat?
Yeah Buoy. I love a good boat pun that sounds like a quote from “Jersey Shore.”
Describe your worst hangover.
One night, I combined shots of Hennessy with my 1st ever edible. I’m not going to go into the whole story here, but there was a nap on the floor of a public bathroom and a wheelchair involved.
Would you rather always have sand in your shoes or always have damp hair?
Damp hair. Sand in your shoes is the worst.
What quote or saying irks you the most?
“Keep calm and carry on.” Nope, I’ll go full nuclear and then carry on if I feel like it. “Keeping calm” all the time will likely give you a heart attack.
When you die and come back as a ghost, who are the top three people that you’re going to haunt the most?
My former shitty boss (to scare the crap out of him), Ryan Reynolds and Channing Tatum (to see them naked whenever I want)
In the year 2028, would you let a dog drive your car?
Let’s be real: I’d let a dog drive my car in 2019.
What’s the going rate of your soul?
Whatever amount is currently equal to my credit card debt. I’m not looking to get rich here.
Tell me about your most annoying coworker.
I work from home, so it’s probably Frank the cat, who thinks my keyboard is a cat bed.
Would you rather give up brushing your hair or brushing your teeth?
My teeth. I feel like it’s grosser to give that one up, but my hair is long and thick and makes me crazy if I don’t brush it multiple times a day. Plus, you can always get dentures.
What always makes you ~*GiGgLe*~?
Cat videos. Without fail.
What’s your favorite curse word?
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
For $1 Million, you have to either wear a cape every day for a year, 24 hours a day or an animal tail every day for a year, 24 hours a day. You’re going with…
Cape. It seems like it would be hard to sit with a tail and I’d 100% slam it in a car door at least once a day.