Help Me, I Have An 18-Hour-Drive

photo-1530685932526-48ec92998eaaAfter the last few years at the same ole Carolina beaches, my in-laws made an adjustment for Florida this summer. I was absolutely okay with that. Originally they were looking at Siesta Key, and I even volunteered to drive. Sure, willingly accepting a 12-hour-drive seems crazy, but I would rather do that than fly in an airplane with two babies under the age of one. The plan is for me to drive a rental full of everyone’s luggage all the way to Florida to then pick up everyone at the airport and a second rental. It saved money and also saved me from flying with two babies and all of my in-laws (jk love y’all).

Eventually these plans slightly changed. I was out at a work dinner when I was catching up on missed texts on my phone. The in-law group chat was popping off with two baller beach houses side-by-side. The houses were sweet, but they were in Marathon, FL. It was at this time I realized we were actually going to the Florida Keys. My wife had still volunteered me for the drive. Folks, that is an 18-hour drive one way. Am I a psychopath?

There is nothing I can do now. We leave the day after July 4th and I have to make the best of it. So I am now looking for all kinds of suggestions and tips to get me through the drive. Thankfully I will not be alone as I will be joined by my wife’s brother-in-law. Is he still considered my brother-in-law? Anyways, I will get some non-driving time and my gargantuan ass can not sleep well in a vehicle. How can I try to enjoy this road time while also respecting my co-pilot’s boundaries? Some of our tastes differ.

I was considering buying a Game Boy and trying to beat Pokemon or maybe racking up a huge data bill live-streaming the Mountain Man Podcast. Regardless, I need some help. One thing in my plans is to try Whataburger for the first time as I go through Jacksonville. I cannot explain to you how excited I am to have my first honey butter chicken biscuit. I think I may even pack 30 in a cooler to freeze at home. Is there anywhere else on this journey where I should stop and eat? Where should we get dinner in Charlotte?

If you have any ideas for me please leave them in the comments or hit me up on Twitter.


  1. Make sure you mix in some music to those podcasts, after listening to somebody talk to after about four straight hours you’ll get tired of it. Also if you listen to podcasts where you can debate anything with the in law that’s a great way to break up the monotony of driving for that long.


  2. Bring a laptop that can either play dvds or has movies downloaded. Pick a movie you both love and know inside and out, plug it into the aux and watch/listen. A Lord of the Rings extended addition got me from Seattle to Long Beach in two days.


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