Columns

Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Good Natured Laughs

So what to do with this column this Monday morning? It does not seem right to write a mocking column following a weekend when 29 people have lost their lives and 46 people were injured at the hands of domestic terrorists in Texas and Ohio.

Writing an impassioned plea for gun control or blaming our divisive president for the radicalization of white nationalists would be cathartic for me. But there are people who are much more qualified than me who will be doing that in the coming hours and days, so I will leave it to them.

So back to the original question…knowing that you come here for a laugh, and one is particularly needed this morning, for this week we’ll shift to five simply funny things, instead of laughs at someone’s (deserved) expense. 

I’d love to say that next week we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming, but given that there have been 250 mass shootings thus far this year, nothing is guaranteed. If that number bothers you, go to https://everytown.org to see what you can do.

Snuggles The Bunny Finds His Way Home…Again

Stefano’s Trattoria in Winter Springs, FL helped a stuffed bunny find his way back to his owner last week with a Facebook post…and it turns out this is the first time that Snuggles has been left behind:

Ketchup Thief Makes Amends

Bad karma finds us all on occasion, but rarely does two bottles of ketchup turn it around, as on thief is hoping.

Wednesday night at Perkins Restaurant in Lacey Township, NJ, a manager who was closing up the restaurant discovered a brown bag next to the door that turned out to contain two unopened bottles of ketchup and an anonymous letter:

Well, I hope his/her luck turns around. [Via UPI]

Man Duets With Donkey

For reasons unknown, Travis Kinley, from Sumter, South Carolina, decided to take a video of himself belting out “The Circle of Life” from The Lion King and he had an unexpected duet partner in the form of his donkey Nathan.

According to Live 5 News, Mr. Kinley said, “I pulled my phone out and started recording and he started braying next to me,” he said. “I think he just saw me being loud and he knows he’s a loud animal and he thought we’re two peas in a pod so let me be loud, too.”

Check it out:

[Via NDTV]

All Star Pitcher Confused For Justin Bieber

With the last name Bieber, you’ve got to image that Cleveland Indians starting pitcher is often asked if he’s related to Justin Bieber, which he is not. But baseball card company Topps actually seems to think they are one in the same; while Shane’s name is correct at the top of the card, but in his bio, the company refers to him as Justin. SBeiber seems to have a good sense of humor about it, tweeting at the company…and receiving an amazing reply:

“What Do You Mean?” Topps? [Via FTW]

OMG, It’s August?

Honestly, I can’t believe it is either.

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lawcuck
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lawcuck

Oh my gosh that Ketchup bottle story is hysterical. Hopefully, all us Chipotle sauce thieves aren’t cursed with bad luck.

Accounting don't care
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Accounting don't care

What about the Brazilian Gang leader who tried to escape by dressing up as his daughter? https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/05/world/americas/brazil-prison-mask-daughter.html