Obviously, the most important holiday this week is the anniversary of 9/11 on Wednesday. Take a minute out of your day and maybe quietly reflect or do something kind for someone else. If you do the former, let me know about it on Twitter – the more good deeds we put out into the world, the better.
Monday, September 9
National Teddy Bear Day
My favorite teddy bear as a kid was named Felicia and I have no idea where she went. It’s sort of said I never got to say bye.
Care Bears Share Your Care Day
You’re welcome.
National Wiener Schnitzel Day
Wiener Schnitzel is basically just breaded, fried veal? I’m still not eating it, but I honestly always thought it was a bit more exotic than that.
National Boss/Employee Exchange Day
You know, I like my job. I don’t think I’d like my boss’s job. I’m good.
Tuesday, September 10
National Swap Ideas Day
Here’s one – keep your stupid ideas to yourself, ok?
National TV Dinner Day
My personal version – Lean Cuisine.
National Ants on a Log Day
Can’t be just call it celery with peanut butter and raisins? Seriously, we’re adults here.
Wednesday, September 11
National Make Your Bed Day
Show of hands – who makes their bed every day?
National Hot Cross Bun Day
You’re welcome! Again!
Patriot Day and National Day of Service and Remembrance
Totally serious question: how is this not a national holiday? And I’m (seriously) not just saying that because I want another day off. Honor the dead. Honor the heroes.
Thursday, September 12
National Video Games Day
It wasn’t until Twitter that I knew so many grown ass men play video games. Here’s your day, dudes!
National Chocolate Milkshake Day
Finally, something this week that I’ll eat.
National Day of Encouragement
Someone encourage me to get a chocolate milkshake, ok?
National Report Medicare Fraud Day
I mean, you can also encourage people to report Medicare fraud, but the milkshake is the primary focus, ok?
National School Picture Day
I really regret that I never got a school picture with that laser beam background…
Friday, September 13
National Kids Take Over The Kitchen Day
I thought I wasn’t supposed to let kids play with the stove and knives? Make up your minds, people.
National Peanut Day
Are we still allowed to celebrate this or are too many people allergic?
National Blame Someone Else Day
I blame all those wimps who are allergic to peanuts.
Uncle Sam Day
That bastard that takes my taxes? No way.
National Programmers Day – 256th Day of the Year
Computer nerds, please (condescendingly) explain why this is the 256th day of the year.
National Hug Your Boss Day
I don’t want to be my boss and I certainly don’t want to hug my boss.
Saturday, September 14
National Sober Day
On a Saturday? During college football season? But seriously, shout out to all of you living the sober life. Much respect.
National Cream Filled Donut Day
Eh, no.
National Eat a Hoagie Day
What is a hoagie, exactly?
National Live Creative Day
I am literally so not creative.
National Virginia Day
Fun fact: The first peanuts grown in the United States were grown in Virginia. Too bad no one is allowed to eat them anymore. #theme
Sunday, September 15
National Cheese Toast Day
Yassssssssssssssssssssssss.
National Double Cheeseburger Day
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.
National Linguine Day
Oh, yasssssssssss again.
National Felt Hat Day
I do love me a good floppy hat.
National Creme de Menthe Day
I wonder how this would taste in my chocolate milkshake?
National Tackle Kids Cancer Day
Worthy cause.
National Online Learning Day
Seriously happy that online learning has opened the door for so many more people to further their education.
Greenpeace Day
The only thing I know about Greenpeace is that’s where Sandra Bullock’s absent boyfriend worked in Two Week’s Notice. Probably should know more.
Wife Appreciation Day
Don’t have one. Don’t aspire to be one.