An Ode To The Best Part of A Woman’s Day

It’s only Tuesday freaking morning, and I’ve just clocked in 

On my second cup of coffee, I can feel a headache starting to begin.

I long for comfort: I pine for my sweats, I yearn for my couch.

I just want to plop my ass down with some Netflix and zone out.

Alas! Even that outfit would be much too formal.

And if I’m being honest, it’s not really normal…

You see, when a lady gets home, she has one desire:

To rid her body of any underwire.

Yes, that’s right, the secret is out; no more holding it in

As soon as we get through the door it’s time to unleash the twin(s).

Men will never know what’s it like to whip your bra off at the end of the day:

Pure ecstasy, Heaven on Earth – better than an orgasm some might say.

Sure, bras give you support and maybe some cleavage

(For some of us – ahem – any little bit is needed.)

But the cups gape, the straps are too loose, or the band is too tight.

This thing has been around for decades, can’t someone get this right?

The cost is outrageous, you wouldn’t believe a bra’s price:

And if it’s inexpensive, well, after one wash… sure won’t look nice.

Yeah, they make our tits look perky, and some bra patterns are cute

But the best thing about bras? After a long day, giving it the boot.

No matter the shape, color, or size every lady gives a “Hooray!”

When taking her bra off at the end of the day.

To all my sisters, whether you’re A, B, C, D or something larger

Can we all agree the highlight of some days is your bra’s departure?

So ladies here’s to you; another day of struggle and getting through-

– because let’s face it, we all know what we want to do.

Come clock out time, we want to unwind, unhook and shout:

“Adios bra – you piece of shit –  time for tits out.”

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