Columns

Five People That Has a Worse Weekend Than You: Meth, Miami, and Me

Hello from the middle of the ocean! While I’m on vacation and could have skipped this week’s edition with no guilt, I’m writing it anyway because A.) I missed last week’s and B.) it’s not like I can do anything else right now (see below). But even staring at a laptop during vacation, I’m still having a better weekend than some other people.

This Lady’s Friends

I know that some people are weird about eating food that other people make, but not me. I’ll pretty much eat anything someone brings into the office to share, although this story may make me rethink that.

Cassandra Medina-Hernandez brought some bean dip into her work, a grocery store in Marion County, OR, to share with her co-workers. It wasn’t until one of her coworkers started to feel ill that the magic ingredient in the dip was discovered: meth.

No word on how the co-worker is doing, but Ms. Medina-Hernandez was arrested and charged with unlawful delivery of methamphetamine, recklessly endangering another person, and causing another person to ingest a controlled substance. Which makes sense…but I’m just wondering why someone would want to share their meth? Isn’t that shit expensive? [Via KFOR]

Tea Drinkers

I alternate between tea and coffee, but I’ve got plenty of tea drinking friends who think they are better than everyone else. You know the type, the kind that act morally superior for drinking classy tea while the rest of us wait in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive through like the slaves to the coffee bean that we are. Well the bad news for them is that, according to USA Today, “Some premium tea bags release billions of microscopic plastic particles when steeping in hot water, according to a new study authored by researchers at Montreal’s McGill University.” Take that, you pretentious assholes.

The study, which was published in the Environmental Science & Technology journal, found that when steeping in nearly boiling water, plastic tea bags “shed more than 10 billion microplastic and nanoplastic particles into the water, a level thousands of times higher than those reported previously in other foods.”

There is some good news for tea lovers – these types of tea bags are typically only found on high end teas, so if you are drinking the cheap stuff, you’re all good. Studies haven’t found what kind of effects that ingesting this much plastic can do to humans, but they have found that a regular person likely ingests enough plastic per week to equate to a credit card.  

Oh fuck it – drink whatever you want, we are all gonna die soon anyway. [Via USAToday]

Dogs

And that includes dogs, particularly if you are feeding yours some brands of raw foods.

The FDA has issued a warning for Performance Dog frozen raw pet food, after a sample of the food tested positive for Salmonella and Listeria monocytogenes. The sample was taken from he Bravo Packing, Inc. manufacturing facility in Carneys Point, New Jersey – a facility that also tested positive for contamination in September 2018.

The FDA cautions against all Performance Dog raw pet food produced after July 22, saying it “represents a serious threat to human and animal health,” a statement from the agency said.

No one is safe, my friends. Not even our 4 legged ones. [Via CNN]

The Miami Dolphins

So the Dolphins suck. Everyone knows the Dolphins suck. But you’d hope that the celeb from their hometown who remixed their fight song would still like them, right? Wrong.

TMZ caught up with T-Pain at LAX last week and asked him about rerecording the song and his feelings about the team, to which he said, “You don’t have to be a fan to get money!”

Ouch. On the upside, the rapper pretty much said he has no allegiance to any team, stating, “Anybody offering money want me to come do your halftime show? Absolutely! I’ll wear your jersey for a whole f*cking day if you want me to! Hell yeah, that’s what it’s all about!”

Yeah, there’s not enough money in the world you could pay me to wear a Giants shirt, but I guess that’s why he’s on a boat and I’m not. (Actually, I am right now, but you know what I mean) [Via TMZ]

Me

Because for all of you who asked, this was not a “fake” tweet:

As such, I am writing this while laying on the couch in my cabin with an elevated foot with ice on it. On the upside, the Pats game is on via satellite and I don’t have to go to work tomorrow, so who am I to complain?

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

  Subscribe  
Notify of