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This Week in Ridiculous Holidays: September 30th – October 6th

I’m on vacation this week, so every day is a holiday. And I’ll be able to celebrate with tacos, vodka and homemade cookies, so what’s better than that? Not much, I dare say.

Monday, September 30

National Chewing Gum Day

Chewing gum? Yes. The sound of someone chewing gum? NO.

National Mud Pack Day

Is this the same as a face mask?

National Hot Mulled Cider Day

Yes. I love it, even if it’s essentially warm apple juice.

National Love People Day

Eh.

Tuesday, October 1

National Black Dog Day

I love all colors of dog.

Fire Pup Day

I SAID ALL THE DOGS!

National Hair Day

Maybe this will be the one day mine will do what I want.

National Homemade Cookies Day

Homemade cookies are soooooooo much better than store bought ones.

National Eat Fruit At Work Day 

Why would I eat fruit if there are homemade cookies?

Wednesday, October 2

National Produce Misting Day 

There’s a holiday for those little things that water the produce at the grocery store?

National Custodial Worker’s Recognition Day

Who the hell do you think cleans your stanky office bathroom? These heroes, that’s who.

National Name Your Car Day

Hit me in the comments with your car names. I need to steal a good one.

National Fried Scallops Day

I think you all know I’m allergic to shellfish by now, right?

National Walk to School Day 

Both ways, uphill, in the snow.

National Pumpkin Seed Day 

I buy a pumpkin every October just to roast the seeds. And before you say it, yes I know I can buy them, but that’s not as much fun.

National Coffee with a Cop Day 

Or better yet, buy a cop a coffee. They deserve it.

Thursday, October 3

National Techies Day

Like the IT guys? I love those guys.

National Boyfriend Day

Next.

Friday, October 4

National Taco Day

National Vodka Day

These are a few of my favorite things…

National Golf Lover’s Day

Love is a strong word. Moderately like is more what I’m feeling.

National Manufacturing Day

How else do you think you get….everything?

National Body Language Day

Mine pretty much constantly says “Don’t talk to me” and I’m ok with that.

Saturday, October 5

National Get Funky Day

It’s time to get funky!

National Rhode Island Day

“The world’s largest bug is on the roof of New England Pest Control in Providence. It’s a big blue termite, 58 feet long and 928 times actual termite size.” Tis true – I drive by it on my way to CT because there’s nothing to actually do in RI.

National Do Something Nice Day

I did something nice yesterday and now I have a broken toe, so take that for what you will.

National Apple Betty Day

Here you go – enjoy!

Sunday, October 6

National Coaches Day

All hail Bill Belichick, the greatest of all time.

National Orange Wine Day

Is there actually such a thing as orange wine?

National Plus Size Appreciation Day

Turns out I’m 100% that bitch.

National Mad Hatter Day

Hands down, the most annoying character in Wonderland.

National German-American Day

Sure.

National Noodle Day

Carbs, carbs and more carbs.

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