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Stop Being So Offended by Halloween Costumes

With Halloween approaching faster than you can saym “Candy corn really isn’t that bad!”, the topic of what costume you have decided to wear while binge drinking at the end of the month is probably consuming most of your conversations. Hopefully, you had it predetermined weeks ago, but either way everyone from Sheila in accounting to those in your multiple groupchats wants to know what clever outfit you have concocted for the festivities.

Maybe you went with a classic, straight from the bag at the local pop-up Halloween store, or maybe you went all crafty and clever and handmade something related to current events. Honestly, I don’t care what you’re wearing or how much effort you put into your costume. Are you having fun? Are you drunk on alcohol or sugar if drinking isn’t your thing? Great, you’re doing Halloween correctly!

What I do care about is the fact that lately everyone and their mom has their panties in a bunch and has decided to be offended by literally any and all Halloween costumes.

AND. I. AM. OVER. IT.

Does your daughter want to be Moana because it’s her favorite movie ever even though she’s white and has no idea that Moana isn’t her same nationality because all she sees is a cool little girl doing amazing things? Guess what, that’s offensive.

Are you a dude who wants to put zero effort in besides a thinly veiled dick joke? Offensive.

Do you want to wear a politically charged couples costume related to anything that Trump has ever done or said? Offensive.

Are you a female who is obsessed with Stranger Things or Handmaid’s Tale and really likes the slutty non-official versions of the costumes because it’s god damn Halloween and the one day of the year you can dress slutty without being judged? Offensive.

The list could go on and on, but I think you see my point.

The fun thing about this holiday is that it gives you the chance to be something you’re not. It’s a costume, a disguise, a mask, and a way to escape who you are for one night. Sure, there are a lot of costumes that are in poor taste, but that’s the point! IT’S A COSTUME.

This is not the date to be uptight and overly sensitive. We have 364 other days of the year to be hurt and offended and focusing on cultural appropriation issues (which is a whole other topic I could go on for days about) and political correctness.

And if we’re really going to go down this “offensive” rabbit hole, any costume could apply and fit in this category.

Do you really think police officers, firefighters, and any military personnel appreciate that we trash up versions of their uniforms just to get wasted and hookup with strangers? Doubtful.

Same thing with Disney princesses and fairy tale characters. We literally ruin any wholesome ideal behind these childhood icons for our own shameless adult enjoyment.

Again, I could go on, but seriously you can make anything insulting if you try hard enough.

Once a year, it’s really OK to not be a tightass and get offended by someone’s attempt at having a good time. Because I promise they aren’t trying to go out of their way and be a shitbag just to make you upset. (Unless they’re dressed up as a Nazi or in blackface. That’s the line, people. Feel free to be upset at those fucktards.)

Otherwise, get over yourself, learn how to take a joke, and find something better to do on Halloween than rain on everyone’s parade based solely on what they’re wearing.

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