Terrible Movie Thursday: Doom

Welcome to #spookyszn folks! Since it’s the season of frights, we’ll make sure that you have plenty of terrible movies to watch that will scare you more with their terrible CGI and stilted acting than jumpscares. Today, a personal favorite of mine, Doom, one of the best movie adaptations of a video game, which is kinda like being the thinnest person at an Iowa State tailgate. With only 19% approval on Rottentomatoes, why did this movie get such a bad rap.

Critics consensus

The FPS sections are sure to please fans of the video game, but lacking in plot and originality to please other moviegoers.

Oh dear god people, it’s based off a video game where you walk down dark corridors fighting off demons and undead, were you really expecting Tarantino or something? All that matters is whether the action is passable (it is) and whether there are enough OMG moments to satiate the fans (there are).

Now we have to admit…

  • I mean, the thing about the plot is pretty dead on. It’s a straight up monster movie, pretty much a total rip off of Aliens, Predator, and Dawn of the Dead.
  • The effects did not age well. Like, at all. I mean, I know this came out in 2005 but you know what else did? Star Wars Episode III, War of the Worlds, Sin City and a bunch of other movies that didn’t look nearly this bad 15 years later.
  • If these characters were any less dimensional, they’d destroy the fabric of space and time.
  • The whole plot involving the Rock basically going berserk for no reason (seriously, no clue why he did anything) is bad.

But come on…

  • The FPS scene. I mean…come on. That was everything fans of the original game wanted. Props to a movie knowing what it is.
  • It’s the Rock man…the Rock before he got massive. I mean…put some respect on that man’s name.
  • Any movie that has military dudes introducing themselves by their dope ass nicknames (“Sarge,” “Duke,” “Goat,” “the Kid,” “Mac,” “Pinky,” “Reaper,”) gets my stamp of approval.
  • “Dr. Carmac’s condition…is irreversible (gunshot) because Dr. Carmac’s condition…is that he’s dead.” Man if you didn’t recognize then that the Rock was gonna be a star you just don’t know talent.

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